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Realization

A little seed was planted in my heart when I was a teenager going to seminary. I decided during the year we were learning about the Book of Mormon that I wanted to know for myself if it was true. When I prayed about it, nothing spectacular happened, but I felt a unique feeling of peace that I hadn't felt before. Now that it's been over 20 years later, I can say that every time I've read the Book of Mormon, that belief that it is true has become stronger and stronger. This year I decided to get a special Book of Mormon that has space to write on each page. I set a goal to take the time to ponder what I have read and write down what I understand, or what the Spirit tells me. I have read this book many times and have learned a lot already, but this time has felt so different. I have been able to understand so much more. There are days when I want to hurry and read the next chapter to catch up and not take the extra time to ponder and write, but I have made myself do it anyways. It has been so rewarding. Sometimes I'll start writing something I thought of and as I'm writing, the Spirit helps me understand a little more. So I'll write that down as well. 

The examples of the people in the Book of Mormon are so inspiring. They make me reflect on what I'm doing in my life. I can't say that I would have the courage or strength to sacrifice my life to go preach the gospel to a people that I know hate me. We have these teachings because Alma, Ammon, Aaron, and the other sons of Mosiah sacrificed themselves to go teach the Lamonites. We learn so much about the plan of salvation, the atonement of Jesus Christ, the resurrection, and the pure love of Christ through their teachings. 

My daughter, Kaylee, is in Nauvoo right now. She told me about a couple that she met that are missionaries in Adam-ondi-Ahmen right now. They told her that they didn't ask to serve a mission. They were called. They also told her that the Prophet is their mission president. For some reason that has really made me think a lot. It made me reflect, "am I living my life in a way that the Lord would want to call me to help Him in His plan? would He be able to trust me to be worthy enough to take care of a place where the Savior will come again?" There are plenty of things I need to work on for that to happen. 

But then I thought how I'm the Primary President in my ward right now. Somehow the Lord has trusted me to fulfill this role. I still wonder why. I keep making mistakes, but the times when I take the time to have Him lead me are the times when I feel like it's going good. I know we can minimize callings in our ward because we see them every week. We forget how important our callings are. The Lord did call me in this calling for a reason. It has been one of the hardest years of my life, yet He trusted me enough to take on this role. 

These things have taught me, even more than I already knew, that I need to take the time to let the Lord teach and guide me. Taking that extra time will help me way more than trying to get through things on my own. The understanding and the peace I've been able to feel for doing that are so precious to me. The Lord has blessed me so much. No, I haven't receive some spectacular, extraordinary event like what we have read in the scriptures, but line upon line the still small voice of the Holy Ghost has continuously helped me know that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is true. The roots of my little seed of faith have grown deep and I'm so blessed when I'm able to partake of the fruit of it. Our Savior, Jesus Christ lives. He and our Heavenly Father love each one of us so much. Now is the time to prepare to be in their presence. I want to use this time wisely. I'll be taking advantage of the Atonement of Jesus Christ a lot because I continuously sin, but I'm grateful that I can still press on, trying my best, and putting my trust in Him. 

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